Mini Effects: Exercises in Worldbuilding
by Jicama
Summary: Each chapter will be a short story or ficlet about original or (maybe, rarely) canon characters in the Mass Effect world. The purpose is to build on the world of Mass Effect and bring some diversity to the cast of characters we know and love. Taking requests, but it must be a world building or character back story building in some way.
1. Don't Insult Your Accountant

"It's the tentacles, isn't it?" Debbie asked, gesturing to the photo of Mahdis and herself at the Nyahir festival last year.

"Excuse me?" Lynona asked, "I'm not quite following."

"Oh, come on. It's just us girls." The human smiled, giving some limp wristed wave which was supposed to be dismissive... or something insulting to men who dated men. She could never remember. Debra, "Debbie" was a first year resident of the Citadel, and she'd messed up her tax forms like many often did. Lynona's job was simple - straighten them out and save their clients money with whatever write offs she could wrangle and charge the client for each one. In her days as a merc shed done that and more for her gang of Eclipse sisters. She had embezzled thousands of credits from employers and Eclipse itself, making an art form out of it. That was why now she worked for the biggest bank on the Citadel. Her newly found morals were the only reason she was stuck balancing checkbooks and managing retirement funds. "You said that was your boyfriend."

Lynona sighed and dropped her stylus on the desk. She'd figured that was exactly what Debbie was implying from the start, but she'd hoped it wasn't the case. This wasn't the first time a human - or any alien- had assumed that about her. It was also frustrating when they assumed girl by default. Apparently mono-gendered species meant nothing to these people.

"I don't know what you're implying at all ma'am." The former merc insisted. She looked back to the mess of tax forms and thought she might have it figured out when she spoke up again.

"You're dating him for the tentacles. You know, for in the bedroom." Lynona thought the conspiratorial smirk and wink was cute. Really, just like a new maiden in the sisterhood when they still thought it was fun and games. Except this human was really fucking disgusting and not a sister.

Lynona closed her eyes and started a quick count to twenty accompanied by a deep breath. The human wasn't worth risking her job or disappointing Mahdis by having an angry outburst. He would never approve of so much as yelling, and he handled these situations so much better than she did.

Noting her pause, the human grinned and said "Knew it.", entirely too smug for Lynona temper to take laying down. In her merc days Debbie would have met her end by a couple dozen bullets and a boot to the face. Mahdis would definitely be upset with her if she did that, with all the hard work to earn his trust and time he spent helping her through her anger issues. Yet another pervert was not worth the love and respect of her boyfriend.

"Ma'am, that's really not any of your business." She began, thinking of Mahdis at home making tea and reciting poetry to her to calm herself before she continued. "And honestly, I am greatly offended that you would assume such vulgar things."

"Oh... I. Well, I ...didn't mean to."

"Oh, I understand." She had the human on the run. With a sugary smile Lynona leaned forward on her desk, clasping her hands together and feeling a little amused at the situation. In another life she'd just blast the woman with a singularity. "Most humans don't know. Hanar are asexual. And so am I."

"What? But don't you...you know...? Aren't salarians the asexual ones?"

"No. They have sex. We - Mahdis and myself - neither want nor need to engage in sexual activity or sexually intimate moments. And yes we are in love and we do have a very happy love life."

"Oh. How does that work? If you're never intimate, I mean." The former merc could admit to being a little impressed at the boldness of this woman, but she still needed to remind herself how disappointed Mahdis would be if she broke her 7 month streak of remaining calm and polite. They'd spent months meditating and talking through her anger issues. Three months without yelling. 22 without hurting someone intentionally. Not to mention she'd lose her job and she was starting to like her volus and salarian coworkers.

"We talk. We watch movies and documentaries. We go to festivals together. Every year we go to Kahje and he participates in the Nyahir art competition. He had his name written on Mount Vassla last year for an poem written about our love."

"Oh. Well, congratulations." Debbie had that forced smile - polite but too tight lipped to be genuine.

"Thank you. And honestly I'm so shocked I have to ask - is this acceptable human behaviour between strangers - to ask about something vulgar like that?"

"Ah. Um... not. No. Not exa- er, at all. I'm sorry."

"Apology accepted, ma'am." Lynona said, holding back her grin into a polite smile at the way Debbie now looked so squeamish, clearly unhappy and uncomfortable in her seat. Lynona took back up her stylus and got back to business. Maybe just this once she could "forget" she wasn't an Eclipse bookie anymore. "I think I found your problem, by the way."


	2. Tip Your Waitress, Not Your Drink

A deep purple asari and corpulent volus sat on opposite sides of the bar, sharing the task of cleaning glasses after closing. This was their usual routine, and afterwards they would often go to eat a meal before parting ways for the night.

"You know, I think you're the only male that comes in here and doesn't hit on me?" She said after several moments of silence since they'd stopped gossiping about customers and co-workers. The volus, Dabon, looked up in surprise.

"Yes..._hissk_... I suppose so." He replied, contemplating it. Dabon hadn't hit on his only asari co-worker in the two years he'd been there.

"And don't get me wrong, I appreciate it. I get hit on way too much as it is." Minali went on, continuing on with her task but now with more force against teh technicolor glass. "It just hit me and I don't get why."

"Oh. _Hissk_." The bartender set down the glass he'd been over cleaning gently and looked up at Minali. "Well,..._hissk._.. because you're my friend. Just..._hissk..._my friend. And I just prefer..._hissk_...volus women."

"So you don't want to date me?"

"No. Do you?"

"Nope. You're too good a friend." She replied with a shrug. "I like having someone I can talk to who doesn't stare at my chest or flirt all the time."

"Agreed. Except normally people don't..._hissk_...flirt with me. Or stare at my chest. _Hissk._" Dabon teased, putting his hands on his belly and nodding in the volus equivalent of a belly shaking laugh.

"I bet there are a few volus women who would." Minali winked at him, finishing cleaning the last glass. "The Zakera cafe tonight? My treat."

"Sounds good."

"Great. I still have to tell you about the human who tried flirting with the salarian banker that always sits in my section. It was a thing of _beauty_."

"The salarian..._hissk_... or the flirting?"

"Jerk."


End file.
